Conversation with Prof Kgethi Phakeng

I spent woman’s day with fabulous women who chose to open up their deep baskets and tenderly share of themselves. Our conversations ranged from body image to our sense of self, to that initial moment it occurred that actually “I’m a woman.” We conversed on our use of time,  and at the end wrote out our eulogies [scripting how on our last day on this earth we would wish to have lived out our lives].

Continue reading “Conversation with Prof Kgethi Phakeng”

Footbinding: Letter to my daughter

~Allow me to break your feet.

I promise

You will be beautiful~

© Jo Farrell

Universally, women have been familiar with “taboos, constraints, and exclusionary” practices. Her body, her sexuality and her reproductive role as a mother in society have commonly been at the center of these taboos.


Judith Butler’s Gender Constitution essay parallels the idea of being a woman to an act. She makes use of Beauvoir’s claim that

“one is not born, but rather, becomes a woman.”

This is the idea that a woman is compelled to conform her body to a historical idea of “woman” so that the body becomes a stage that materializes this limited understanding of her. She, being a cultural representation in the play. The actor (woman) role plays this idea repeatedly, beat by beat until the sight of womanhood submits to a uniform understanding of her gender.

© Donna Jo Napoli
© Donna Jo Napoli

This explanation fosters the idea that the repetitive re-enactment of scenes carves out the cultural signs that create meanings for womanhood. Foot-binding is a symbol of these repeated scenes. Continue reading “Footbinding: Letter to my daughter”

Too nice to be feminist, too feminist to be nice.

Do you profess to be a feminist?mm2.jpg

Or are you still thinking about it? Are you a half feminist then? A not so good/ bad feminist perhaps?

If one yields to half feminism or bad feminism, why would they identify as a feminist in the first place you may ask?

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably

too nice to be feminist. Yet too feminist to be nice.

‘A mess, full of contradictions.’

The other day, I smiled at him, a moon sized smile. To be honest I was cringing as I listened to his flippant platitudes of entitlement.

Words-entitlement-words-entitlement, seeped through this scrubs mans mouth. But I smiled. Tap-tap, that’s a lesson ladies, In case you inattentively missed that scrubs.

  1. A good woman always honors a man. To achieve this you must hide some words, better yet erase some words edit-edit-edit till they sound like nothing you were trying to say. Be reminded-different people read your posts. Your male or white friends may read your writing, refrain from sounding disillusioned and hyperbolic and too  black angry nobody did it to you.

Really this must stop. Note to self: this conversation is about feminism, race aside today. Besides, we are all part of the human race what? erasure-erasure-erasure. A mess of contradictions. Continue reading “Too nice to be feminist, too feminist to be nice.”